Tweet poem v. 2.011b (my last for a while probably)
Tune in 2 your Shaqtube 2night. Wow, Brett Favre is coming out of retirement to judge American Idol? Twitter Users Can’t Spell “Favre” Either - Svet Favre? Brett Farce, or, rather, Brett Facre. I need to replace the Jet Favre nickname. Some Kroger chicken-in-a-bag then back to the stadium. It’s August baby! I wish I had local friends to, like, go drinking with I am as eager to go back to work tomorrow as I am to visit the proctologist Stop waiting for a producer. Produce yourself. 'Nuts' The Squirrel Has Gone Viral What the? now that squirrel pops up everywhere! Cat: DRINKIN UR TEA FROM UR MUG! President Barack Obama eats a peach at Kroger’s Supermarket Celebrated by seeing Hop City, which is out of sight I laugh at my coworkers. Florida, here I come! Everglades National Park! Back in Atlanta. By the end of my week in Portland, I ranked No. 1 on @foursquare What Does Hawaii Taste Like? 2 more days until Vegas! Back in fucktard land known as England. I hate this place. When Im older Im moving to hollywood. Do brits use the word “boffins” as often in everyday conversation as UK tech blogs would suggest? Lesley was right. Those burritos were awesome, although not quite California style. Massa Shoe Shits Brazilian food, come to mama It seems this KFC restaurant has a bowl of food especially for famous people! Cant figure out how to click knives with mouse to do food cooking game You haven’t tasted anyone’s teabag until you’ve had Boulder’s in your mouth Your low Daphne ratio has broken my daughter’s heart Other people’s driving really annoying me today. My turn signal means I’m switching lanes Woman on my bus today was so stupid she thought an Audi was named after a belly button. All I see are people with canes today. Seinfeld voice: What is the deal with hurricanes? They’re not in a hurry, and they don’t carry canes. Jesus holy ass fuck!!! Hey now! That was another robot tweeting for me. It’s spreading! Oh oh! Eye pain is one of the many symptoms of Swine Flu. Can someone out there clone me and send my clone into work. I’m not feeling like working? Can’t science do that yet? Doctor Crusher gives her the old McCoy Maneuver and brings her back to life with a hypospray. Invasive Chinese Hornets Threaten French Bees Read this and deeply appreciate Beatles Rock Band before you get drunk and play it at my house. If you don’t, puppies everywhere will become sad. When God finally calls you home, make sure He is pulling you off the devil "Dude, just take the bamboo. I don’t want it." I have no idea what this cab driver is talking about. Yet we continue to converse. Zombies would most likely wipe out humanity if they really existed Quiero ser beta tester I dropped my computer mouse in my turtles water bowl and now it doesn’t work. For all those who have been dying (literally) to ask me, yes, these are Fruit of the Loom.
Monday night and hubby has the TV. Going to IBC is like Cheers for me - everbody knows my name. Built this city on rock ‘n’ roll Everybody is a VIP. Hungry. Using my sense of smell, I will track and kill a deer, and then eat up to 22 lbs. of meat. Five Guys is opening up in Tempe, where Coffee Plantation used to be (paraphrased) Big salad, bigger cookies, double score. Try eating a banana! 5 hours of screaming babies… screaming. Plus a couple of barking dogs. This was a weird flight. Tom DeLay: Life of the party! Apparently, being a baby elephant is just a laugh riot. Track the hurricanes, kids. Insert the cheeky squirrel into your own photo Traffic jam causing traffic stop I think I have stubbed my toes four times I awoke to hear my oldest kicking rhymes Amish newspaper succeeds the old-fashioned way Sweet jeebus. My GRANDMOTHER is on Facebook. Now to watch True Blood. Welcome back Sun Devils! Get your ass off my Peabody!